Am I Real?
by Xiaine
Summary: Shadow's a little down about being real or not. Going to Eggman doesn't seem to help, but a small talk with Sonic does 3
1. Chapter 1

It had reoccurred to me again, as it did almost every day. The question I had been asking myself for more than four years now. _Am I the real Shadow the Hedgehog?_ From what I'm told, four years ago was the anniversary of Space Colony Arc's shutdown. It was reawakened by the original Shadow himself with the help of Doctor Eggman. From there, the giant machine had pushed itself into the Earth's orbit once the seven Chaos Emeralds were applied; that would've been the end of humanity. Thankfully, Sonic the hedgehog had stepped in to stop this, with Shadow's help. In the process, Shadow had sacrificed himself using all his power combined with Sonic's to create a huge blast of Chaos Control. Shadow was believed to be dead, that is until I came into the picture. Now, no one knows if I'm the real Shadow or just one of Eggman's clones of him.  
Rouge the bat awakened me from unconsciousness. I had been "asleep" in a stasis capsule inside the Doctor's base. When released, I had no memory of anything. Thus began the questions: _Who am I? Why was I unconscious in a capsule deep within the Doctor's base? Am I the the real Shadow? Am I even real?_


	2. Chapter 2

I had decided months after I had woken up that I was just Shadow. I wanted to forget any doubts. The people around me called me by that name, so it must be mine. Sonic saw me as the original, Rouge is questionable but she treats me as though I were any one else. So why not believe them? The problem was that I didn't feel reassured. I needed someone to out right tell me that I was really Shadow, that I was real. I had all the attributes of a real hedgehog. I have a brain, a mind of my own, I feel pain, I bleed. I have emotions, though they are rarely ever exposed. Every one I knew have these features I myself have. So why did I continuously ask myself the same question? It was unnerving to think about and I needed someone to personally guarantee that I was indeed real.

Though it puzzled me as to why, I was heading to the Doctor's base. It was the only place I had ringing in my mind. The Doctor and I had an on and off type of relationship. One moment I'd be helping him out with just about anything, the next I'd be going against him with Sonic and his friends. In a way, even now, it doesn't really matter what side I'm on. We had some understanding though, that we could go to each other if we needed any help.

The new base was underground. I don't remember his old one, but recently he informed me his "new base" was located in the northern part of the island we resided on. I don't remember the old base. I have a feeling that the older one was up during the time the real Shadow was still around. I wonder what the old base was like. At the moment I saw a long pole protruding from the ground, I had a feeling that was it. It was my first time visiting. As I got closer, I recognized the symbol that was on basically everything the Doctor created. There was a button right below it and a sign below that saying "press for service." I could see the Doctor was just being funny. I hesitated at that point. Regardless of his IQ, this was the Doctor. He would either give me a straight answer or he'd bullshit me. For a good couple of seconds I didn't care, thus I pressed the button. Right after, I instantly regretted doing so. There was no sound once the button was pushed. A huge rounded patch of grass to the right of the pole rose up. It was a transparent capsule big enough to fit up to three people. A small television set was positioned just above the closed door. It began to blink to life and the Doctor's face appeared, looking quizzically down at me.

"Ah, Shadow! What brings you to my lovely home?" He grinned. I gave him a nod back to return the hello.

"I have a question for you Doctor. May I come in?"

"Of course! Come on inside." The TV then shut off. The door below it slowly slid open. Like the outside, the inside was also see-through; A glassy metal that distorted the view behind it. I walked inside and the door slid shut. The capsule slowly sank back down into the ground. Once it was fully submerged within the Earth, the door slid open again. The same material was laid out in the long hallway before me. I began walking. The floor had slowly moved downward diagonally as the ceiling remained completely horizontal. I'd say the distance from the capsule to the end of the hall was about two hundred feet.

At the end of the hall was a door, which had opened automatically once I arrived. I wasn't surprised to see a variety of robots moving all around this humongous room. From working the computers, to dusting off the walls, to vacuuming the walls, to just lazing around, the robots were everywhere. The Doctor had so much free time. Straight ahead I could see huge monitors showing pieces of the city. So many screens, no wonder there were so many robots observing them. The Doctor must've had some plant the cameras around the city. It puzzles me that they weren't found. The Doctor was just before these screens, not on his high seat, which was in the middle of the room. He was standing next to Metal Sonic, dusting him off with some feather duster I wouldn't have thought he'd have. The Doctor's taste was… somewhat disagreeable. He had a coffee mug that said "I hate Mondays". So, the Doctor disliked a certain day of the week?

"Nice to see you drop by," He said smugly. I waited for him to turn to me and give me all his attention, but he kept dusting off Metal Sonic as though it were a trophy. "You don't come by as often as before. Been busy?" That struck me. The Doctor already knew I hadn't come by at all. Since awakening, this was my first time coming to his place. All other times, he'd meet up with me somewhere, or send me some sort of letter. Was he mocking me?

"No, actually. I haven't." I replied. He finally turned to me and sipped his drink.

"Well what's this question you want to ask?" He set the feather duster down, Metal Sonic turned in my direction. At that moment I remembered I wasn't the only "look-a-like" here. I didn't want to ask at that point. I felt I was just a much better model than the piece of scrap metal that stood a foot away from me. Of course, the Doctor was all about robotics and machinery. None of these things had souls in his eyes. Maybe to him, I was like Metal Sonic, only more realistic. That pissed me off. "Well?"

"Uh… it has to deal with me as—"

"An android, yes I know you are one." He quickly responded.

"No. that's not what I was going to ask. Doctor, am I the real Shadow?" He lowered his mug. There was silence, then a shrill laugh. The Doctor found this amusing. How the hell did I know? I was curious as to why, even though it annoyed me. Either he found it funny, or there was an obvious answer that I wasn't seeing.

"What do you think? Are you the real Shadow? Or did I create you myself? Hmm, now that I'm unsure of." As I thought, he was bullshitting me.

"I don't know if I am, that's why I'm asking you."

"I can't guarantee that my answer is even accurate! If you are the real Shadow and don't remember anything, then I suppose there's not much I can do about that. Or, if you are just a clone of the original, I honestly can't say." He was grinning. I couldn't take his words seriously. I was becoming even more pissed.

"Then never mind. I just… I was hoping you could give me your honest opinion on this. I don't know if I'm the real Shadow or if I'm just the perfect clone of him. I thought you'd have the answer." The Doctor was in a daze. His face was mixed with triumph and embarrassment.

"You're making me blush! Ha ha, I'm flattered you came all the way over here just to ask me such a question. I seriously can't say though. To me, whether you are the real Shadow or just one of my clones, you're the same which ever way it goes."

_Meaning? _I mentally asked. Instead I outwardly glared at him.

"Thank you for your time." I said reluctantly and turned to leave. As I walked away, I felt my ears twitching at the horrid sound of the Doctor's heinous slurping.


	3. Chapter 3

I had been walking aimlessly for what seemed like hours. I left the Doctor's place with out another word after that. I was confused, so confused that I went to the outskirts of the island. I had come to a cliff which was horrendously high. Sharp jagged rocks resided below with crashing waves ramming into the cliff side. I stared down, wondering to myself if I was the Ultimate Life Form the Doctor claimed me to be. Heh, fat chance if I was neither clone nor the real deal in his eyes. At this time, I supposed that I could put that to use and experiment on it. What if I was the real Shadow? I wouldn't die if I were to just. If I were a clone, I'd break into pieces and shut down. Though it didn't look inviting, I was still tempted to try it out. But what would be the point? I'd be throwing my life away if my assumptions were incorrect. There were those that did give a damn about me, and doing this crazy thing wouldn't prove much point. I had no wish to die. None at all.

"Hey, Shadow!" I decided not to jump once I heard his voice. I crossed my arms, and closed my eyes as I always did when around him. I tried imaging his reaction if I had jumped. Most likely the fool would jump in after me. He was just like that for some unexplainable reason.

"Hello, Sonic." I said coolly, the only way I could talk to him. I felt the urge to ask the reoccurring question, but it would've been very awkward at such a time. The answer would at least be honest, that's for sure.

"Whatcha doin' way over here?" He asked cheerfully. He stood ever so close. I liked this closeness. He seemed to know when I needed the brush of his shoulder against mine.

"Just thinking. I assume you come here often?" I didn't look at him while I spoke, which he was already use to by now.

"Every now and then. The cliffs here are beautiful, huh? Still doesn't beat Emerald beach on the other side!" I could feel his smile being directed towards me. I began to feel comfortable. That was what I needed. Sonic just had this way with making others feel better.

"I suppose you have a point. Actually," I huffed. I wasn't so sure I was ready to ask. I peeked over at Sonic to see where he was looking. Of course, he was giving me a hopeful stare. I grumbled a bit, that stare made me a bit shy. I'd never admit to it though. "I have a question for you. Think you can be honest with me?" He grinned, setting a hand on my shoulder.

"Of course I can!" I then directed my full attention to him. I remembered the edge of the cliff we were standing on. Just a few inches from falling right off; Not very safe, of course.

"Let's move before we fall." I suggested. Sonic chuckled and walked away from the edge. He seemed to be in the best of moods today. Not that it was odd, but he just glowed more than usual. I had a bit of an uneasy feeling, thinking I would ruin that glow and dim it down to just a faint shine.

I kept my eyes down as I walked. Sonic must've sensed this. Next thing I knew, I saw his red shoes not too far from mine. He put his hands on my shoulders. I lifted my head. We were now eye to eye. He moved closer, our noses touched. He rubbed his against mine for a moment. I felt heat rise up in my face. I was hoping it wasn't noticeable.

"Tell me what's up." He said and moved back. I tried to predict his reaction. Was he going to say a positive answer that didn't really give off his truth thoughts just to cheer me up? Or was he going to be honest? I didn't let that stop me from blurting it out. I had to know Sonic's view on it all.

"Do you think I'm the real Shadow?" I began. His smile disappeared, but only for a second. It was still as bright as before.

"Honestly, I don't know." I felt a sharp pain strike through me. Honest enough, I thought. Honest enough. "But I believe you are. You remembered me when we saw each other for the first time after the Arc incident, right?" He sounded so certain, I had to believe him.

"I did, somewhat. It was hazy, but your name sparked something." I contemplated on that thought. Sonic continued.

"You remember Maria right? At least a little?" I felt a chill shoot up my spine. I did in fact remember her. Her name set off a memory of her death. I instantly felt remorse.

"I did… and I still do."

"Alright then. You must be the real Shadow then!" It was almost as if he sang it out loud.

_You're so positive. The way you say these things so cheerfully and full of spunk. Giving off that damn smile to everyone, _my mind shouted.

"I suppose."

"Alright! Don't you ever doubt it again." He pinched my cheek. I muttered to myself.

"Well that means I'm not real."

He let go of my cheek. His smile died off, slowly becoming a frown. His brows furrowed and his hands were placed on his hips.

"Now where did THAT come from?" He tapped his foot on the ground. I gave him a stern stare.

"That's been in my mind since waking."

"And you believe you aren't?"

"…Somewhat. Yes I do."

"How?"

"I wasn't born like you. I was created. I'm a machine in the body of a hedge—"

"Hold on. Just because of the simple fact you were created doesn't mean you're not real. You have your own mind to think, right?"

"Well, yes I do—"

"And your own emotions?"

"Yes, I—"

"So, how can you doubt being real?" I was lost for words, and a little annoyed he kept cutting me off.

"I'm a bio-engineered weapon."

"That feels and thinks like any other hedgehog. Just because you came into this world differently doesn't mean you're any different from the rest of us. You aren't a mindless driod."

He did speak truth, I did think for my self and I made sure everyone I interacted with knew that. I did feel emotions. Just a while ago, I felt regret, anger and even sadness.

"That's what I love about you." He added. He was smiling again, thank god. "You're so independent." I didn't know what else to say. I certainly felt better and looked at my creation differently. Not only did I develop a sense of independence, but I was always seen as my own person. Without thought, the people that called them selves my "friends" considered me the real Shadow. They considered me real.

I frowned. Why didn't I feel reassured? Everything Sonic had said made perfect sense. My mind was piling up doubtful thoughts. I didn't understand. What more could I ask for?

I didn't want to keep the conversation going. Sonic wasn't going to keep giving me the same information over and over, I knew that. I didn't want him to either. I just sighed, letting it all go, taking Sonic's words to heart and putting the issue aside for now. Maybe over time, I'll get use to that kind of thinking. I'll get use to the idea of me being real, of me being the original Shadow the Hedgehog. Once I do, I won't have to worry about this damn question anymore. Long as I have "friends" like Sonic, I'm sure of that.

It was a nice day, I wanted to enjoy it at least a little bit. Hmm, all this positive thinking was making my head hurt. I shook all the thoughts away, and went back to neutral.

"Oh, Shadow, let's race!" Sonic urged. Him and races. What the hell was his deal? Was everything about being fast to him? If that was the case, no.

"I would like to walk. Come on." I said, taking his hand and began walking towards the dirty walk way. He seemed confused. Walking was a new thing for him.

"Um, sure you don't want to run? We'd get there faster!" He was almost whining now. I tightened my grip on his hand. "Aw, Shadow! Let's run, please? Walking's so boring!" Yeah, that was whining all right.

"We're going to go slow today. Tell me about your day. You were glowing earlier." He blinked, blushing slightly. As always, that bright smile appeared on his face again.


End file.
